Happy New Year!

I know all of posts have been factual but this one is going to be a little different. On this New Year's Eve, I have been thinking about how fortunate I am to have such wonderful friends. And of course, I thought of Pam.

I will never forget the moment I found out. I was sitting at the San Jose airport and a text showed up on my phone. There in that little blue square, the word cancer screamed out at me. For several seconds I just froze when I saw that word. And then I quickly scanned the rest of the message. "Doctor just told me it's cancer. Head spinning. Bawling. Just a wreck." Those white words against the blue rectangle will always be etched in my brain. And then my heart just sank. I called her but I could only talk for a couple minutes before I had to board the plane. It was torture, absolute torture to make that flight home and not be able to talk to her. See her.

That night, I went and spent a couple hours with her. You know, I have been an oncology nurse for over ten years. I have dealt with cancer patients my entire career. But let me tell you, it hits you about a million different ways harder when it is someone you love.

While we were talking, Pam said something to me that I will never forget. And I want all of you to remember this on this New Year's Eve, going into 2011. Even better, remember it every day. For the rest of your life. Between our spurts of crying, silence, and staring into space from shock, she turned to me and said,"What do I do tomorrow? What do you do the day after you find out you have cancer?" And at that moment, neither of us had an answer. We just cried.

But today I have an answer. You wake up and spend time with the people you love the most. You do the things you have always wanted to do. You laugh harder than you ever did. You don't take no for an answer. You fight like hell when anything gets in your way. You slow down and look at all the wonderful things you didn't notice when you were flying by. You tell the people that are important to you and who have made your life a happier journey that you love them.

So Pam, Happy New Year and I love you! Happy New Year everybody and here's to a rocking 2011! The year Pam kicked cancer's ass!!!!!